Kuki urukundo abenshi mu bakiri bato bakundana rutaramba?

Muri iy’iminsi hari kwigaragaza cyane urukundo rw’agahararo aho inshuti ziri gutandukana, ingo nyinshi zigatana,

Ese uzi itandukaniro ry’urukundo nyakuri n’urukundo rw’agahararo?
 
N’ubundi kandi, kubona itandukaniro riri hagati y’urukundo nyakuri n’urukundo rw’agahararo ntibigoye, iyo ubitekerejeho. Ariko iyo uhuye n’umukobwa cyangwa umuhungu mwiza cyane, ibyo byose bishobora guhinduka. Mu buryo utari witeze, uhita wumva umukunze cyane ku buryo ibindi byose bisigara nta cyo bivuze. Uba wumva umukunda byo gupfa. Koko se urwo ni urukundo nyarwo cyangwa ni agahararo gusa? Wabibwirwa n’iki se? Kugira ngo tubone igisubizo, reka tubanze dusuzume uburyo mu myaka mike ishize ushobora kuba warahinduye uko watekerezaga abo mudahuje igitsina.
 
None ko ubu utangiye kujya uterera akajisho ku bo mudahuje igitsina, wahangana ute n’ibyo byiyumvo bitoroshye ufite? Ntukigire nk’aho ibyo byiyumvo bitakubamo, kuko byatuma urushaho kubakunda. Aho kubigenza utyo, ushobora kumva ko ari uburyo bwiza ubonye, bwo gusobanukirwa uko umuntu abona undi agahita amubenguka, n’itandukaniro riri hagati y’urukundo rw’agahararo n’urukundo nyarwo. Nusobanukirwa ubwo buryo butatu abantu bagaragazamo urukundo, bizakurinda ibintu bitari ngombwa byari kuzagutera agahinda, kandi nyuma y’igihe runaka, ushobora kubona umuntu mukundana by’ukuri.
 
KUBENGUKA → Ibyo ureba:
 
“Jye n’incuti zanjye duhora tuganira iby’abakobwa. Tugerageza no kuganira ibindi, ariko iyo hagize umukobwa mwiza utunyura iruhande, duhita twibagirwa ibyo twavugaga!”—Alex.
“Iyo umusore afite ingendo nziza, hanyuma twahuza amaso akansekera, numva mukunze.”—Laurie.
 
Kuba wabona umuntu ufite uburanga ukamubenguka, nta gitangaza kirimo. Ikibazo ni uko uko agaragara atari ko buri gihe biba bihuye n’imico afite. Kubera iki? Ni ukubera ko ibyo ureba bishobora kugushuka.
 
URUKUNDO RW’AGAHARARO → Uko wiyumva
 
“Igihe nari mfite imyaka 12, hari umuhungu numvise nkunze cyane byo gupfa. Ariko bimaze gushira, naje gutahura impamvu namukunze. Incuti zanjye zose zakundaga abahungu kandi uwo na we yari umuhungu. Ubwo nawe urabyumva!”—Laurie.
“Nakunze abakobwa benshi, ariko incuro nyinshi nabaga nkuruwe gusa n’uko basa. Iyo namaraga kumenya imico yabo, nasangaga tudahuje nk’uko nabitekerezaga.”—Alex.
 
Iyo ukunda umuntu by’agahararo, wowe uba wumva umukunda nyabyo. Kandi n’ubundi, urukundo nyarwo rujyana n’ibyiyumvo. Ariko ibyo urukundo rw’agahararo n’urukundo nyarwo rushingiraho biratandukanye. Urukundo rw’agahararo ruba rushingiye gusa ku byo umuntu yashimye ku wundi bigaragara inyuma. Urwo rukundo rw’agahararo rutuma umuntu atabona aho undi afite intege nke, n’ibyiza afite rukabikabiriza. Urukundo rw’agahararo twarugereranya n’akazu kubakishije umucanga gusa. Umukobwa witwa Fiona yaravuze ati “ntiruramba. Uyu munsi ushobora kubona umuntu ukumva uramukunze. Nyuma y’ukwezi wabona undi, na we ukumva uramukunze!”
 
URUKUNDO NYARWO → Ibyo uzi
 
“Ntekereza ko iyo ukunda umuntu by’ukuri, uba ufite impamvu zituma umukunda kandi izo mpamvu zikaba zidashingiye ku bwikunde.”—David.
“Jye numva urukundo nyarwo ruza buhoro buhoro, uko igihe kigenda gihita. Mubanza kuba incuti zisanzwe. Hanyuma mwamara kumenyana neza urukundo rukagenda rwiyongera.”—Judith.
 
Iyo uzi neza ibyiza by’umuntu n’aho agira intege nke, ni bwo uba ushobora kumukunda urukundo nyakuri. Urukundo si ikintu umuntu yiyumvamo gusa, ahubwo rukubiyemo n’indi mico.
Urukundo rurihangana kandi rukagira neza. . . . Rutwikira byose, rwizera byose, rwiringira byose, rwihanganira byose. Urukundo ntirushira, Nanone kandi, urukundo nyarwo rutuma umuntu agaragaza iyo mico ashingiye ku byo azi. Ntaba abitewe n’ubujiji cyangwa gupfa kwemera ibintu buhumyi. Zirikana ko urukundo nyakuri rurenze ibi byo gukunda umuntu kubera uko asa.
Urukundo nyarwo rugaragazwa n’igihe mu maze mukundana. Nanone ntiruba rushingiye gusa ku bigaragarira amaso. Birashoboka ko umuntu muzashakana yaba atari wa wundi ubona bwa mbere ukumva uhise umukunda.
 
● Kuki urukundo abenshi mu bakiri bato bakundana rutaramba?:“Iyo havutse ibibazo urukundo nyarwo rurakomeza, mu gihe urukundo rw’agahararo rwo ruhita ruyoyoka iyo imimerere ihindutse. Kugira ngo abantu bakundane urukundo nyarwo bisaba igihe kirekire.”




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